I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner.
She said, "Nothing." Then she got mad when I didn't make her anything.
She said, "Nothing." Then she got mad when I didn't make her anything.
This joke is painfully relatable relationship humor — the unspoken expectation that "nothing" means "guess what I actually want." The narrator follows the literal instruction and suffers for it anyway. It captures the universal experience of navigating a partner's indirect communication with total fidelity.
Tell this one with genuine bafflement, like you still don't understand what went wrong — because maybe you don't.
Perfect for:
Double entendres have been a staple of comedy since Shakespeare — many of his plays are packed with innuendo that would make even modern audiences blush.
What do you call a man who's always lying on the floor?
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I asked my wife to try anal.
She said, "Sure, but you go first."
My wife said she wanted to feel special on her birthday.
So I put her in a helmet.
My wife asked me to come to the bedroom wearing something that turns her on.
So I came in wearing a UPS uniform.
My wife walked in on me while I was watching a cooking show.
I quickly changed it to something less embarrassing.
My wife just found out I've been cheating on her with a blind woman.
She said, "You could at least have picked someone better looking." I said, "She didn't seem to mind."
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