25+ Funny Dad Jokes That'll Make You Groan

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

What do you call a fake noodle?

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

What did the ocean say to the beach?

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

I told my computer I needed a break.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Why did the math book look so sad?

I'm afraid for the calendar.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

I just got hit by a rented car.

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

I asked my dog what two minus two is.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

How do you organize a space party?

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

Why did the coffee go to the police?

What do you call a fish that practices medicine?

Why do bees have sticky hair?

I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Why did the banker quit his job?

What do you call a group of disorganized cats?

Why don't scientists trust stairs?

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

What do you call a snowman with a temper?

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

I tried to write a joke about a pencil.

What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

Why don't melons get married?

I made a belt out of watches once.

What do you call a dinosaur that knows a lot of words?

Why did the old man fall in the well?

What do you call a cow on a trampoline?

I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

Why did the picture go to jail?

What did the nut say when it sneezed?

Why did the belt get arrested?

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high.

What do you call a lazy spider?

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

I just found out I'm colorblind.

What do you call a singing laptop?

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Why do crabs never give to charity?

I used to be a shoe salesman.

What do you call a toothless bear?

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

I tried to start a hot air balloon business.

What do you call a magician that loses their magic?

Why did the man run around his bed?

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant.

What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

Why did the man put his money in the blender?

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Why do nurses like red crayons?

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger.

What did the plumber say when he got bored?

Why do peppers make such bad gossips?

I told a chemistry joke the other day.

What do you call an alligator detective?

Why did the bicycle keep falling over?