I'm so good at sleeping.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
'With my eyes closed' is an idiom for doing something effortlessly — but sleeping with your eyes closed is literally the default, not an achievement. The joke celebrates a non-accomplishment with maximum confidence, which is exactly where the absurdity lives.
Deliver with genuine pride, as if you've mastered something most people struggle with. The more earnest the boast, the funnier the complete lack of actual achievement.
Perfect for:
The average adult hears about 1,500 jokes per year but can only remember about 10% of them. The ones that stick? Usually puns and wordplay — the backbone of dad humor.
I'm so good at sleeping.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
🏆 Best Dad JokesMy boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.
I used to think I was indecisive.
But now I'm not so sure.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
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