My wife filed for divorce today, said I am too Un-American for her.

Tbh, I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...

My wife died because I couldn't remember her blood type..

More Dad Jokes for Adults

I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with.

She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

My boss told me to have a good day.

So I went home.