I lost my job at the bank on my first day.

A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

I wondered why the frisbee kept getting bigger.

More Best Dad Jokes

I'm thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it's only holding me back.

To the man who invented zero:

Thanks for nothing.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.