I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson.

He said, "But Dad, your name is Brian." I said, "I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?

More Best Dad Jokes

I'm thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it's only holding me back.

To the man who invented zero:

Thanks for nothing.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.