I told my son I was named after George Washington.

He said, "But Dad, your name is Steve." I said, "I know, but I was named AFTER George Washington."

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

I've got a chicken-proof front lawn.

More Best Dad Jokes

I'm thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it's only holding me back.

To the man who invented zero:

Thanks for nothing.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.