I used to be a romantic and believed love was blind...

Now that I'm older, after many years with a wife and kids, I wish it was deaf and mute too.

My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday... said maybe they'll marry eachother.

My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning

More Dad Jokes for Adults

I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with.

She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

My boss told me to have a good day.

So I went home.