My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday... said maybe they'll marry eachother.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
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Wife yells from upstairs: "Hey do you ever get a really sharp pain in your heart area, almost like someone is using a voodoo doll against you?"
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More Dad Jokes for Adults
I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with.
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Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.