What's long, hard, and full of seamen?
A submarine.
A submarine.
"Seamen" versus "semen" is one of the oldest and most reliable homophones in the comedy playbook, and for good reason. The genius is that every detail — long, hard, full — genuinely describes a submarine, so the joke holds up even when you know the punchline.
Emphasize "seamen" just slightly more than necessary, enough to plant the seed, then deliver "a submarine" with total confidence.
Perfect for:
Double entendres have been a staple of comedy since Shakespeare — many of his plays are packed with innuendo that would make even modern audiences blush.
What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?
Next joke →I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me.
What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?
Chewing gum.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off.
What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist looks up your family bush.
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