Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Because it had a virus.

My landlord says he wants to talk to me about my high heating bill.

I tried to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament.

More Best Dad Jokes

I'm thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it's only holding me back.

To the man who invented zero:

Thanks for nothing.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.