Why did the dad bring a ruler to bed?
To see how long he slept!
To see how long he slept!
"How long" refers to the duration of sleep, but a ruler measures physical length. The dad uses the wrong instrument for the right question, substituting measurement units in a way that is perfectly logical and completely useless.
Present the ruler idea with genuine earnestness, like it's a sensible sleep-tracking strategy nobody else has thought of yet — the sincere problem-solving energy makes it funnier.
Perfect for:
Father's Day was made a national holiday in 1972, but dads have been telling bad jokes since the dawn of fatherhood itself.
What do you call a dad at a rock concert?
Next joke →I asked my dad for his best joke...
I wouldn't buy anything with Velcro...
It's a total rip-off!
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson...
He said, 'But Dad, your name is Brian.' I said, 'Right. I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.'
I don't trust stairs...
They're always up to something!
I'm afraid for the calendar...
Its days are numbered!
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
They say he made a mint!
We've got 2,000+ dad jokes across 20 categories. Find your next favorite.