Why do men find it so hard to make eye contact?
Because the other things don't have eyes.
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My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.
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More Dirty Dad Jokes
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
I want you inside me.
What goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet?
Chewing gum.