My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.
Now I can't read any of it.
Now I can't read any of it.
The narrator interpreted "put ketchup on the shopping list" as a physical instruction rather than a request to write it down. The shopping list is now covered in actual ketchup and completely illegible. It's a wonderfully stupid literal interpretation that makes the narrator useless in the most mundane possible way.
Sound slightly frustrated about the practical outcome — this was a problem you didn't expect to encounter, and you're still not entirely sure what went wrong.
Perfect for:
Double entendres have been a staple of comedy since Shakespeare — many of his plays are packed with innuendo that would make even modern audiences blush.
What do you call it when every couple gets busy at the same time?
Next joke →Why do men find it so hard to make eye contact?
I asked my wife to try anal.
She said, "Sure, but you go first."
My wife said she wanted to feel special on her birthday.
So I put her in a helmet.
My wife asked me to come to the bedroom wearing something that turns her on.
So I came in wearing a UPS uniform.
My wife walked in on me while I was watching a cooking show.
I quickly changed it to something less embarrassing.
I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner.
She said, "Nothing." Then she got mad when I didn't make her anything.
We've got 2,000+ dad jokes across 20 categories. Find your next favorite.