I've got a chicken-proof front lawn.

It's impeccable.

🐐 Best Dad Jokes of All Timeanimalswordplay

I'm addicted to brake fluid.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

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I'm afraid for the calendar.

Its days are numbered.

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

You know what's really odd?

Numbers that aren't divisible by two.

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