My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.

I had to put my foot down.

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?

More Best Dad Jokes

I'm thinking about removing my spine.

I feel like it's only holding me back.

To the man who invented zero:

Thanks for nothing.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type.

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.