I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me.
He said I was being ridiculous. Everyone hasn't met me yet.
He said I was being ridiculous. Everyone hasn't met me yet.
The psychiatrist offers technically accurate reassurance — not everyone hates you, because not everyone has met you. But the qualifier implies it's only a matter of time. The comfort and the insult are delivered in the same breath, which is a masterclass in therapeutic ambiguity.
Do the psychiatrist's voice as warm and professionally caring as possible. The more competent and reassuring he sounds, the funnier the thing he's actually saying becomes.
Perfect for:
The average adult hears about 1,500 jokes per year but can only remember about 10% of them. The ones that stick? Usually puns and wordplay — the backbone of dad humor.
My wife asked me to go get something that makes her look sexy.
Next joke →I used to think the brain was the most important organ.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We'll see about that.
🏆 Best Dad JokesMy boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.
I told my therapist about my fear of backstories.
She said, "Let's go back to the beginning."
I'm so good at sleeping.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
We've got 2,000+ dad jokes across 20 categories. Find your next favorite.