Wife yells from upstairs: "Hey do you ever get a really sharp pain in your heart area, almost like someone is using a voodoo doll against you?"
Husband: "no" Wife: "How about now?"
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Today my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach.
Next jokeMy son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday... said maybe they'll marry eachother.
More Dad Jokes for Adults
I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged.
My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.