Father's Day Jokes

I heard this today about a person with many facial piercings

My son asked If you see an Apple Store getting robbed…

Why was the baby ant confused?

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

What do you get when you drop a piano on a kid from a great height?

My son asked why sStar Wars movies came out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3…

I finally found out why my car was making that whining noise.

I have a great joke about nepotism.

My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday... said maybe they'll marry eachother.

I used to be a romantic and believed love was blind...

My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...

The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...

When does a joke become a dad joke?

My son asked me to put his shoes on.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

I asked my dad for his best dad joke.

My wife and I have decided we don't want children.

Asked my son what he learned in school today. He said "Gay men like ynoS. Lesbians favour ahamaY, and transgender people prefer esoB.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I told my son I was named after George Washington.

I couldn't believe the highway department called my dad a thief.

My wife accused me of being immature.

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop.

What does a baby computer call his father?

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

My kid hit me with this one today

I just discovered that Albert Einstein was a real person..

My daughter finally started looking for a job. I told her there's an entry level job that people are dying to get into and you start with 3000 people beneath you.

What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son?

What did Grandma say about the Thanksgiving leftovers?

What did dad say when he saw how big the turkey was?

What did Uncle Bob say before carving the turkey?

What do snowmen call their kids?

What do you call a dad who falls through the ice?

Why do dads carry an extra pair of socks when they golf?

What do you call a dad who's done it all?

My kids got me a beard trimmer for Father's Day...

Did you hear about the dad who made his kids do math on Father's Day?

Dad, did you get a haircut?

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

What do you call a fake father?

What do you call a dad who makes incredible pancakes?

My kids made me breakfast in bed for Father's Day...

Why do dads always tell bad jokes?

I told my kids I was born to be a dad...

Why did the dad cross the road?

My dad said he was going to the store to get milk...

What do you call a dad at a rock concert?

I asked my dad for his best joke...

What does a dad do when he finds a good deal?

Why are dads like coffee?

Dad, why is the sky blue?

I gave my dad a blank card for Father's Day...

Why do dads always know when someone touches the thermostat?

What do you call a dad who rakes leaves all day?

My dad told me to embrace my mistakes...

What do you call a dad who does magic tricks?

Why did the dad sit on his watch?

I asked my dad how he stays so cool...

Why do dads love hardware stores?

My dad has a joke for every occasion...

What do you call a dad who tells really long stories?

Why do dads always check the oil in the car?

My dad told me he was a man of few words...

What do you call a dad sleeping on the couch with the TV on?

I gave my dad a 'World's Best Father' mug...

What did the dad volcano say to the baby volcano?

Why do dads make terrible comedians?

What do you call a dad at a water park?

Why did the scarecrow become a great dad?

Why do dads never get lost?

I bought my dad a fridge for Father's Day...

What do you call a dad standing in the snow?

Why did the dad stare at the wall?

What did the dad lightbulb say to the kid lightbulb?

Why do dads always have the TV remote?

I tried to write a joke about fatherhood...

What do you call a dad who thinks he can fix everything?

What do you get when you cross a dad and a joke book?

Why are dads like good parking spaces?

What did the kid get dad for Father's Day?

What did the baby computer call its father?

When does a joke become a dad joke?

I wouldn't buy anything with Velcro...

What did the ocean say to the dad?

What time did the dad go to the dentist?

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson...

Dad, can you put the cat out?

I'm reading a book on the history of glue...

Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar?

What does a nosy pepper do?

I don't trust stairs...

How does a penguin build its house?

Dad, I'm hungry.

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet...

My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall...

What did the dad tomato say to the baby tomato?

What do you call a dad who loves barbecue?

Why did the dad bring a ruler to bed?

What did the dad spider say to his kid?

What did the grape say when the dad stepped on it?

Why did the dad stare at the can of orange juice?

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

Why did the dad bring a piece of string to the ball game?

Dad, I feel like a deck of cards...

My dad only has one speed on the grill...

What did the dad say when he dropped the spatula?

Why did the dad put his money in the freezer?